Melissa McEwen and the 8 Keys Of Excellence

Melissa McEwen is working to create her future using the 8 Keys of Excellence character education principles as her guide after attending Senior Forum in 2007 and 2008 and then Leadership Forum in 2009 at Colorado College.

“I learned a lot about positivity and how you are the creator of who you are,” the 20-year-old Tampa resident says. “It helped a lot with memorizing tools. The keys – this is it, staying in the moment, the organization maps I would do – help with organizing my day-to-day time.”

Melissa says the 8 Keys give her tools for living with integrity, purpose and perseverance, while SuperCamp taught her new study skills and gave her supportive friendships.

“When I went to Colorado I did not know I was going back with some people I had been going with every year in North Carolina,” she says. “I formed really good friendships and kept seeing them at Leadership Forum in Colorado.”

The 8 Keys and how they have helped Melissa:

INTEGRITY – Match behavior with values

Demonstrate your positive personal values in all you do and say. Be sincere and real.
Melissa says she’s learned to be true to herself, so she doesn’t say one thing and do another. “It helps me in my friendships to not have a mask and be real. I feel better about myself, too.”

FAILURE LEADS TO SUCCESS – Learn from your mistakes

View failures as feedback that provides the information you need to learn, grow, and succeed.
Melissa started her freshman year of college only to find the particular college was not right for her. Failure from Success means “I do not look at it as a failure but (as) how can I make my future brighter…No matter how difficult they (mistakes) are, it makes you a stronger and brighter person when you turn the situation around into a learning experience.”

SPEAK WITH GOOD PURPOSE – Speak honestly and kindly

Think before you speak. Make sure your intention is positive and your words are sincere.
Melissa says: “I use that key every day because I believe if you treat others the way you want to be treated and think before you speak…people realize you have more respect for them.”

THIS IS IT! – Make the most of every moment

Focus your attention on the present moment. Keep a positive attitude.
Melissa says this key has helped her overcome struggles and connect with others to help them. Learning at SuperCamp to make the most of each moment “was definitely a life-changing experience. It was a positive week and it made me feel good about myself.”

COMMITMENT – Make your dreams happen

Take positive action. Follow your vision without wavering.
Melissa has not yet determined what her dream career is, but she wants to work with children, particularly those who were abused, to find loving adoptive homes. “I was adopted as a baby. 3 weeks old. I knew a lot of friends who came from abusive families and they found wonderful families,” she says. “I want to help kids who are in abusive families where they can find good families who care for and support them.”

OWNERSHIP – Take responsibility for actions

Be responsible for your thoughts, feelings, words, and actions. “Own” the choices you make and the results that follow.
Melissa says this key helps her understand that if she says or does something wrong she should apologize and take responsibility. “It’s knowing that you can’t just blame everybody around you,” she says.

FLEXIBILITY – Be willing to do things differently

Recognize what’s not working and be willing to change what you’re doing to achieve your goal.
For Melissa this key applies at this moment in her life as she decides what she wants to do next. “I am trying to figure out where I am going to go and what I am going to do and rearrange my future goals and dreams to make them happen,” she says.

BALANCE – Live your best life

Be mindful of self and others while focusing on what’s meaningful and important in your life. Inner happiness and fulfillment come when your mind, body, and emotions are nurtured by the choices you make.
“Every day is a balance – you have to balance what you want to do and your time from when you wake up until you go to bed,” Melissa says. “Finding a balance within yourself and people around you to support you…people that believe in you. And if you believe in yourself you can overcome anything.”

Go Melissa!!!

Excellence Effect Movement Visits New Orleans

The Excellence Effect Movement recently took their mission of reaching 50 million kids to two New Orleans schools, Schwarz Alternative School and Dr. Martin Luther King High School, which is located in the lower ninth ward.

“Your outstanding presentation, enthusiasm, selfless commitment, and sheer love permeated into our hearts, and showed students that there are persons that dedicate their time, love and efforts into making the lives of children more fulfilling,” School Administrator Mr. Lockett said.

As students suffer from a cultural Excellence Deficit and teachers struggle with lack of programs due to education budget cuts, the aim of the Excellence Effect Movement is to reverse this trend by offering a meaningful character education curriculum at no cost to families and students with a goal of reaching 50 million kids by 2015.

“The Excellence Effect is a program that guides young people toward a positive future full of confidence, motivation, creativity, teamwork, leadership and valuable life principles,” said Bobbi DePorter, President of the non-profit that created the Excellence Effect Movement, Learning Forum International.

At both school assemblies, members of the Transformational Leadership Council, an elite group of many of the world’s greatest transformational leaders, led talks on the 8 Keys of Excellence and interacted in small groups with the students.

The no-cost school program provides K-12 teachers with a full year of character education lesson plans, online resources, training and support.

Bobbi DePorter is the founder and president of Learning Forum International. Bobbi developed the 8 Keys of Excellence 30 years ago as an education tool for students attending her SuperCamp summer enrichment programs. She is the author of The 8 Keys of Excellence – Principles to Live By and has written over a dozen books on teaching and learning, which have been translated into seven languages. Ms. DePorter is also the founder and president of Quantum Learning Network, which offers training to youth, educators and businesses throughout the U.S. and in over 12 other countries. She attended the University of Washington and University of Southern California Graduate School of Business CME program.

“Our kids are at risk – it’s our responsibility to do something” she said.

A Thanksgiving Attitude

Our trusted Facilitator and loved SuperCamp administrator Marina McDonald shares some whooshed Thanksgiving love.

Watch this video and then ask yourself, what is it that you like in your life?:

Thanksgiving comes around and I find myself still sitting at the kids table with a paper plate and spork. I sigh deeply, look at my 30 year old sister and laugh because she is sitting next to me.

At SuperCamp I listed a series of “I am” statements including “I am a teacher, I am a friend, I am hilarious” in the first step to writing realistic, specific and measurable goals for myself. I took time to reflect on who I am and the goals I set. Admittedly, I would have to look back at my playbook to find specifically (how ironic) which goals I talked about. What happened to the goals you set at camp? How far along are you to accomplishing those goals?

In high school, I focused on the obstacles I faced to get to college including parents, teachers and the multitude of never ending exams.

College: same thing. I was focused on getting past these “obstacles” so I could enjoy life in the job I worked so hard for.

With this perspective, I was trudging through life. I did not realize until now that in high school and college I was growing, learning and developing those “I am” statements. Reality check.

Every Thanksgiving, I look in the mirror and reflect on what I am thankful for. Just like the little girl, I love my house, I love my mom and why not?–even my haircut. Simple things shift my focus from looking at the obstacles to admiring the opportunities.

In the end, I replace my “attitude” with “gratitude.”  I am grateful for all the work my mom put into making my lunches, taking me to school, and making sure I got what I needed all before she headed to the factory to work a 10-hour shift. I am grateful for the teachers who were constantly reminding me what assignments I was missing so they could catch up on a huge pile of papers to grade while they mulled over their leftover choices.

Reflect on your camp. Reflect on life. What are your goals? Who are you grateful for?

What are you saying to yourself in the mirror?

Sweet haircut, by the way.

6 Ways To Battle A Bully

Adam Sandler in the movie "Billy Madison"

This guest post was written by Mr. Doug Couch, sports enthusiast and experienced SuperCamp staff member.

“O’Doyle rules!”

While glorified as entertaining on the silver screen in movies such as Billy Madison, bullying is an act that is all too serious and real in today’s schools. This seemingly inescapable byproduct of adolescence is an issue that three quarters of all students say they have experienced first-hand. Verbally, physically, and psychologically, bullying can take on many forms – name calling, threats, teasing, rejection, and even physical violence.

The lasting effects of bullying can be as widespread as the acts themselves. It can make students afraid of school and social interaction, which can have lasting effects on their psyche through adulthood. For many students, it is difficult to focus on the assignments at hand when they are worried about the bully that stands between them and their locker. As technology has progressed, so has the art of bullying and it’s effects. As a result, bullying can make school a fearful place that can lead to greater stress and school violence, not just for the bullied, but for everyone.

In the post What Parents Can Do About Teen Bullying,  there are some great parent tips on how to help kids deal with adolescent bullying such as listening more and talking less, establishing family values, and building authentic bridges between parent and child so a solid support system is created. But what can kids do to stand up to bullies in the moment?

Over the last decade, I have worked with students across the country, seen a broad spectrum of personalities and witnessed many different types of student interactions. Here are six ways I have found to be the best in dealing with bully situations:

1. The most convenient action is avoidance.

If you know when and where the bully is going to be, take a different route. If you are out of sight, then you are likely out of mind which will help in avoiding any conflict.

2. Stand tall and be brave.

Many times bullies prey on those who they think they have power over. They pick on kids who become upset easily or who won’t stick up for themselves because they are an easy target. Eliciting strong reaction from another can make a bully feel empowered. Sometimes, simply standing your ground and not giving in is enough to make a bully back down. How does a brave person look and act, you ask? Standing tall with your shoulders back will send the message, “Don’t mess with me!” It’s much easier to feel brave and strong when you feel good about yourself.

3. CONFIDENCE!

Know who you are, what you want, and what it takes to get you there! What is it like when you look and feel your best? Tap into that emotion and know that no one can take it away from you. Commit to yourself to be the best person you can be. Do you want to be more physically fit? Commit to yourself to turn off the computer and be more physically active for an hour each day and make healthier food choices. The perception we have of ourselves is the reality we send to the world. Be confident in yourself and others will acknowledge you for it.

4. Have a friend and be a friend.

Friends are some of the best tools in standing up to a bully. Make a plan to be with a friend or two when you’re walking home, eating lunch, or just hanging out on the swings. Offer to be there if you know a friend is being bullied. Most importantly, get involved! If you witness bullying in your school, speak up! Tell a teacher, take a stand with the kid being bullied, and show them both what strong confidence and bravery looks like!

5. Never bully back!

Stand up for yourself and remember to never bully back. Fighting back only gives the bully the power of eliciting the emotional response they wanted in the first place. It’s never worth getting yourself in trouble because someone else is being a jerk. It is important to keep your feelings under control. Use your wit. Keep your mind focused elsewhere until the situation is over and you are in a safe environment to let your feelings show.

6. Most importantly, speak out.

Talk to your teachers, principals, parents, even the lunch lady (who always seems to smell like sloppy joes, even on chicken nugget day!) when you encounter bullying to yourself or someone else. Find someone you trust and tell them everything you can. Many times, bullies stop as soon as a teacher finds out because they’re afraid of being punished by the school or their parents. After all, by speaking out you could be saving your own life or the life of a friend. Everyone has the right to feel safe.

Do you have other good ways to handle bully situations? Please share them in the comments below.

The Value of Time

 

 

THIS IS IT!

 

Small Sacrifices for Big Benefits: The Art of Long-Term Thinking

This guest post was written by the lovely and talented Kelly Pozzoli, SuperCamp lead facilitator and snowboarding enthusiast.

“Is this in line with what I believe?”

“Are my priorities straight?”

“Is it worth it?”

For some reason, obvious and logical questions like these tend to escape our radar from time to time. We do things that might have seemed like a good idea at the time, but ended up proverbially kicking ourselves in the faces.

We give in to temptation because it feels right in the moment. We get caught up in short-sighted thinking. We momentarily forget to consider the consequences, or we find a way to rationalize them.  We give in to our impulses, focusing on the now instead of panning out to look at the big picture.  We make seemingly valid excuses for our actions so that we can have what we want in the meantime.

Short Term Gain, Long Term Pain

The concept is simple. Think about any test you’ve ever had looming on the horizon.  You know you need to do well on this test, and in order for that to happen, you need to study.  You make a study plan and schedule in breaks.  It starts off innocently enough until you find yourself spending most of your nights checking in on the latest and greatest of Jersey Shore, not to mention the entire series of Breaking Bad (after all, it just won all those Emmy’s and you have a lot of catching up to do).  Suddenly it’s a few days before the test, and you haven’t so much as cracked a book.  Call off Snooki, now you have a real Situation on your hands.  The test is here, and you’re unprepared.  Cueing up Breaking Bad on Netflix was intended to be for your down time from studying and somehow turned into the main event.  It seemed all right at the time, but now you’re going to bomb the test.  You chose to indulge in TV instead of studying (short term gain), and as a result, you failed the test (long term pain).

Short Term Pain, Long Term Gain

Now think about saving money to buy a car.  You set up a savings plan and budget your cash accordingly…on paper (that’s the easy part).  However, you tend to be an impulse shopper- buying that oh-so-cute-and-trending-now sweater in the window that you just have to have, or being seduced by the samples at the grocery store and scooping up several boxes of whatever’s being dished out.  But, not this time.  You see that sweater, maybe even go so far as to try it on, but upon inspecting the price tag, decide that a car is much more important to you than having new gear.  And instead of purchasing several boxes of what you’ve sampled, you make note of what the product was and try to work it into next week’s carefully constructed grocery list.  You’re on a budget, which is kind of horrible, but you want that car, so the tears shed during your sweater heartache (short term pain) are quickly forgotten the day you hand over that sweet, sweet down payment on your first new car (long term gain).

Imagine looking in the mirror and knowing you are better than the vices that gobble up so many others in society–that you are stronger, smarter, and more in line with your values. That image looks even better from the rear-view mirror of that beastly car you worked hard to buy. That image looks better seeing those old temptations shrink behind you as you drive your life forward. That image is integrity.

What are some things that you could give up/forgo now in order to receive even bigger benefits in the future? Please share in the comments below!

Stepping out… and Coming Back

This guest post was written by the lovely and talented Kelly Pozzoli, SuperCamp lead facilitator and first grade teacher.

Step out of your comfort zone.  Is that out of your comfort zone? Stretch your comfort zone.

We hear these things from time to time, and I think we all have a general understanding of what a comfort zone is.  It’s a safe place.  It’s like Linus with his blanket.  When we are in the comfort zone, we know everything is going to be ok.  It’s comfortable and easy.  Then there’s that place outside our comfort zone, which has been coined the learning zone.  This, of course, is the place where we are not so comfortable.  It’s a place that challenges us and exposes us to new experiences.  Being there almost demands that we change somehow.  It is when we are in the learning zone that we do the most growing.

I’ve been through trainings and workshops and have read books about personal growth.  I’ve seen videos about inner strength and have done team building and journaling and goal setting more times than I can count.  I’ve done some inner exploration on the kind of person I want to be today, tomorrow, or 10 years from now.  One thing I’ve learned is that it’s easy to make a list.  It’s easy to write down my goals and aspirations.  It’s even relatively easy to talk about these things with other people.  But the difficult part is deciding to walk the walk and then standing there on the line between my comfort zone and my learning zone and taking that first step out.  I’ll be honest.  I can cite more than one occasion where I was paralyzed with fear.  I had set my mind to the task, then mustered up the courage, rallied the troops, all of it, and when I got to the proverbial starting line, I froze.  I was afraid… of change, of failing, of the unknown, that I wouldn’t make friends, afraid of being far away from my family, afraid of being great.

One of my greatest learning zone experiences happened just after I graduated from college.  I found myself wandering around my own life aimlessly.  I had a degree that did little more than get me off the campus.  While it looked fabulous hanging there on the wall in its expensive frame, it was essentially a $40,000 piece of paper saying “Yep, she was officially here.”  I knew that I didn’t want to work with the media, which is what my degree was in, so I spent the next few years doing what I was comfortable with- coaching gymnastics and cheerleading.  I was really pushing myself (note the sarcasm).  The important people in my life always told me how talented I was at various things and how full of potential I was, and yet I went to the very first thing that I knew I could do well.  Did I love it?  No.  I liked it, sure.  But every day I went into that gym and felt that I was working below my ability level.  Every day I felt like there was more in the plan for me, but I was comfortable, so what did it matter?  Then through SuperCamp of all places (I swear they’re not paying me to say this), I discovered my passion.  I wanted to work in some facet of education.  Enter the problem: the specific master’s program that I wanted to do happened to be in Boston, 1200 miles away from everyone and everything that I cared about.  While I loved to travel, the thought of actually living far away from my family for any extended period of time scared the bejeezus out of me.  But I never questioned my choice, not even for a second.  I decided that my passion, what I felt to be my calling, was more important than my fear.  So I packed up and moved across the country for grad school.  It wasn’t easy moving to a city where I didn’t know anyone, and in the beginning, outside of my classes, I didn’t have a whole lot of fun.

Eventually though, I made friends and grew more comfortable in Boston.  I found things there that I enjoyed doing.  It’s a wonderful city with a lot to offer, but it never truly felt like home to me.  When I graduated with my master’s degree, I moved back to the Midwest.  Moving to the Northeast was way in my learning zone, and I feel that I had a tremendous amount of personal growth while I was there, but I knew that it was time to go home.  Some of my greatest learnings about myself, my wants, needs and desires came out of living there.  In fact, as I’m typing this, I’m filled with an emotion that I don’t know how to describe with words… grateful maybe, but to whom, I’m not sure.

What I do know is that I wanted something, and though I was afraid of most of the obstacles between me and that goal, I was able to prioritize.  That’s the great thing about knowing fear- we can stare it down, acknowledge that it’s there, and then move on.  We don’t need to let it control our decisions.

We all have a comfort zone and a learning zone, and between the two we all have fear.  So, set the goal, acknowledge the fear, dance into the learning zone, and come back.  And then do it all over again.

When have you stepped out of your comfort zone and into the learning zone? Share in the comments below.

What Parents Can Do About Teen Bullying

Photo by JordyR

Teen bullying is a major topic in the news these days given the recent charges against six teenagers involved in the case of a Massachusetts 15-year-old girl, Phoebe Prince, who hanged herself in January.

Bullying is a widespread issue in America. It is estimated that anywhere from 11 to 25 percent of teens are the target of bullying in the United States. Additionally, it’s been reported that 160,000 students miss school every day to avoid being bullied by their peers.

In light of the unfortunate case of Miss Prince, the governor of Massachusetts recently signed a bill requiring teachers to report bullying to principals. While legislators are moving forward rapidly to enact laws against bullying, this problem will likely remain a prominent part of teenage life. Because of this, it’s important that you as a parent know what to do to avoid a tragic outcome in your family if one of your kids becomes a victim of bullying.

One of the major problems among students who are bullied is that they become so embarrassed and humiliated that they disconnect from their friends and family, refusing to divulge anything that they are going through. Many victims incorrectly assume that because a person or a small group is picking on them, the whole world views them that way. This humiliation and sense of solitude can lead to depression and, as we’re seeing in some cases, to suicide.

Parents of teens who have taken their own life have revealed later that they weren’t aware of their child’s problem. The kids had not felt confident or comfortable enough in their relationship with their parents to confide in them and seek their help. One parent of a teen who took his own life said, “If only he’d known how much he mattered to so many people.”

Building a Home Court Advantage

So, what can you do to grow a closer connection to your teens? My advice is to build what I call a home court advantage.

We hear of a home court advantage in sports, where the home team enjoys an edge as it feeds off the support of its fans. In families, the home court advantage helps teens reduce stress, cope with challenges and actually feel good about their life. In addition, it strengthens the parent-teen relationship to the point where the teen will confide in his parents during times of trouble.

Building a home court advantage is not a quick fix; it’s a long-term process. The trust and the connection must grow over time. Here are four key steps in effectively creating a home court advantage environment in your home:

1.  Listen More, Talk Less
If there is a lack of communication in your home, trying to force your teen to engage in conversation will most likely do more harm than good. In general, be ready with your ears when your teen does decide to open up, even if it’s to share simple news.

One great place to engage with your teen is when you’re driving in the car together. When you are sitting beside each other in the front seats of the car, you’re facing forward. With both of you looking straight ahead, you’ve created a non-confrontational setting, in which a conversation can start and flow more easily.

Also, whether it’s in the car or somewhere else, when your teen is sharing some news, a good way to encourage more dialogue is by saying, “Tell me more.” This simple request gives your teen an indication that you’re interested in what they’re saying. At the same time, it’s completely non-judgmental; you’re not offering an opinion on what was just said.

2.  Ask…Don’t Tell
Do you like to talk with people who don’t understand you? Of course you don’t. Teens are the same way. Often when parents attempt to provide heartfelt advice, even with the best of intentions, teens will perceive it as a “lecture” and automatically shut down the communication process.

Asking a question, on the other hand, will generate a response and lead to further dialogue. A question, particularly one that requires more than a yes or no answer, engages the brain. It’s a classic technique in sales that is used to learn more about the prospective buyer and to build rapport. And it’s something that works well in families with teens, as well.

Asking more and telling less also gives parents a better opportunity to learn what pressures their teens may be under. Whether it’s bullying, relationships, grades, or something else, the information will more likely come to light by asking simple, non-probing questions.

3. Share Your Values; Discover Your Teen’s
It’s easy for parents to think that their kids know what values the family stands for. After all, they’re part of the family. But it’s best not to assume that they’re either focused or clear on your family’s values.

Have a casual conversation, perhaps at the dinner table, where you discuss what values your family stands for. Ask your teens what their values are. If they need time to think about it, suggest revisiting the topic at dinner in a day or two.

Once you’ve had this conversation, encourage your teen to seek out others in school with similar values. By being part of a group, a teen is less susceptible to being bullied. And by being part of a group of like-minded teens who share common values and interests, an individual is less likely to be ostracized.

4. Build Authentic Bridges to Your Teen
The prime directive in our summer enrichment programs is “Theirs to Ours, Ours to Theirs.” What this means is in order for our staff to teach the students who attend SuperCamp, first they must enter the kids’ world. In other words, our staff must connect with the kids, which gives them permission to teach.

This strategy applies to building a home court advantage, as well. Parents can begin to build a bridge by showing a sincere interest in a hobby or something else that their teen is passionate about. It doesn’t matter if it’s a sport, in the arts, or creating video game software; if there is interest on the parents’ part, the teen feels good.

Parents can further strengthen this bridge by participating in the hobby or activity with the teen, as appropriate. Finally, a third level in building the bridge using this strategy is to let the teen become the “teacher” by showing the parent how to do something that the teen is good at.

Creating a meaningful connection with your teen takes time. But it’s an excellent investment on your part. It will ensure that a sufficient level of trust is present, so that if your teen faces a personal crisis, such as being bullied, he or she will want to come to you for advice and support.

Have you had to deal with bullying in your family? If so, how did you help your child cope? Please share in the comments below.

Celebrate! Dance to the Music!

Photo by Matt Madden

This guest post was written by Mr. Doug Couch, sports broadcaster and experienced SuperCamp staff member.

“Stop worrying about the potholes in the road, and celebrate the journey!”

Every day brings new challenges and new bends in the road of life. Rarely, however, do we remember to take the time to acknowledge ourselves for accomplishing these tasks and navigating these twists and turns. Every day deserves a celebration, even if celebrating looks like cranking the stereo up with the earbuds in. Go on! Be the iPod ad!

Every effort brings learning, and every learning deserves a celebration. Celebrating our successes, and even our failures that will one day lead to success, keep our energy up, our drive in gear, and most importantly, our smiles happy.

In the hustle and bustle of day-to-day life, it is easy to lose focus of the big picture. We study for one test, complete it, and move on to whatever is next without acknowledging the effort and work we did. Sometimes we even feel guilty for acknowledging ourselves, as if doing so may be pompous or selfish.

The purpose of celebrating is so important that even the Disney Company has taken the action to heart by creating it’s very own city next door to Disney World named, what else? Celebration, Florida! Naturally, Celebration’s main street is affectionately named Celebration Boulevard.

When we take the time to celebrate, we are acknowledging ourselves for the learning, loving, growing, and exploring we do each and every day. A typical image for most people at the thought of “celebration” includes cake, balloons, and friends, but celebrating can also look like a bubble bath and a book, or a trip to the movies with extra-buttery popcorn.

Celebrating helps us put into perspective the things that are most important to us in our daily lives. It’s an excuse to surround ourselves with the people we love, and return home to environments that make us feel safe, where we can be ourselves and have fun doing it. By acknowledging the power of a positive attitude through celebration, we maintain close bonds with loved ones and maintain our own zen through activities we love to do.

As you celebrate your accomplishments, give yourself permission to relax and remove yourself from the stresses of the day. Let your hair down, relax your shoulders, and take a deep breath to release built-up tension and stress.

Tonight, as you settle in to your favorite pair of comfy sweats and turn on your favorite primetime show, think for a moment about your day, and all the potholes and turns you navigated through on your journey. Some of the most fulfilling celebrations are the ones we have for no special reason other than having done our best.

Doing our best is the most we can ever do. Tonight, celebrate all your efforts, all your successes, and get excited! Tomorrow is worth celebrating too!

How do you celebrate your accomplishments? Please share in the comments below.

A Different Kind of Bucket List: Getting Back to a Balanced State of Being

This guest post was written by the lovely and talented Kelly Pozzoli, SuperCamp lead facilitator and first grade teacher.

Remember that time you woke up late and it threw off the rest of the day? Or the day you failed a really important test, or your best friend moved away, or you realized that the bank really wasn’t kidding about the lack of funds in your account?  To put it plainly, those kinds of days are horrible.  Trust me, that failed math test or the moment my one true love decided otherwise are anything but smiley faces in the memory book of my life. But those days happen.  We all get angry, frustrated, fed up, sad, hurt, or confused about our lives.  We do.  It’s natural.  But most of us don’t live in a perpetual state of confusion or anger.  We seek out people or activities that shake us back into a balanced place and leave us feeling calm and level headed.  Someone once explained it to me as “filling my buckets”. Yes buckets, plural (we are, after all, multifaceted beings).

Today is a perfect example of my buckets being a little low.  Work was anything but pleasurable.  I teach first grade, and as you can imagine, managing a room of 33 six year olds can do quite the number on my patience and sense of wellbeing.  Ultimately, I love my job, but not today. Today, one kid threw up, another wet her pants, two boys were wrestling and one got a bloody lip, the art teacher was late so my planning period was short, I had two parent meetings, and my assistant was out sick.  When that last bell rang, I all but left a cloud of dust as I sprinted from the school.  However, I refuse to wallow in that yucky place of self-doubt, frustration, and anger.  I have a tried and true plan of action to scale that wall back into my happy place.  It’s simple.  I must refill my buckets.  I must pursue fulfillment at all times.  I’ve found it’s important that I pay attention to what my gut is telling me I need in any given situation and then go out and get it.

By the way, my gut tells me I need all kinds of things.  So for the sake of the incredible shrinking attention span, I’ll mention my top three bucket fillers, and leave you to it.

Positive People

Sometimes what I need to bring me out of my funk are the people in my life that build me up and help me be the best version of myself. These are the people I seek out when I need a shoulder, an ear, or a smile, or when I need to be around someone who just gets it without me having to explain.  For me, it’s my best friends. They’re my smile makers, my heart warmers, my judge-free zone, the ones that fill my buckets.  Somehow, after a venting sesh with my number one fans, I miraculously feel better.  Sometimes just being around them lifts my mood.  They help restore my faith in humanity and keep me grounded.  They give it to me as it is, not as I want it to be.

Being Active

Other times, the thing that brings me back to a balanced state is physical activity.  I’ve recently started training for a series of races.  Paired with a decent playlist, a 3 or 4 mile run outside can wipe out any stress I may be feeling.  There’s a slew of research statistics about the hormones that are produced in our brains when we exercise (if you’re interested, Google “hormones and exercise”).  What I know is that after a workout, I feel better, and that’s enough statistical evidence for me.

Me Time

The last bucket filler can be summed up in two words: Me Time.  Whatever me time looks like for you… get it.  Pull out that journal.  Park yourself on the couch armed with a giant bowl of popcorn and the last 7 episodes of Glee on your DVR.  Sing loudly in the car.  Chatroulette.  Whatever.  But find the time to do your thing.  I love and need my friends and family.  But everyday I take time for myself, away from all the drama and the noise, to take care of me.

Living a full and happy life is not about having a checklist full of accomplishments or meeting famous people or getting good grades or making a lot of money.  Sure, those things are wonderful experiences, make for good stories, and may add to the richness of my life, but they’re not the end all be all to a balanced happy life.  Not to me anyway.  Happiness comes from living with my buckets full or from actively seeking to fill them.